So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
