He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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