I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
