I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
