You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
