Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate all girls vehemently.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
