i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So here I am, sexting at work.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
