Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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