We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
