I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
