So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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