Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
