Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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