I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
