i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
