I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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