Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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