He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
