quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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