It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
