Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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