I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
