3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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