Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize