Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Welp...herpes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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