put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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