i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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