chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
