You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
