Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
