My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
