i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize