Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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