apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
