I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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