Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
