And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
