dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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