Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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