did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
