For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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