Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
