pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
