bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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