i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
