And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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