we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
