wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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