yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
