As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
