My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
