What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize