I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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