Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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