At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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