Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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