oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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