chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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