Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
