Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Princesses don't give blow jobs
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
