hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
