Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
