so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
