i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
