You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
