May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
