I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
