Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
