Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
