I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
