i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
