I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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